I'm not lazy, I'm disabled (Part One)

It's the July 5th and I am sure a lot of people took in yesterday's festivities.  Outside enjoying the weather.  Getting together with family and friends.  Grilling food, drinking refreshments, staying up late to take in the fireworks.  Having fun.  Forgetting about life for a while.  

Me, I spent most of yesterday laying down.  Why?  I was tired, fatigued.  I shouldn't have been tired as I slept great the night before. Why do I feel like this? 

I was outside the afternoon before.  It was warm but I stayed in the shade.  There was a great breeze.  I was having fun.  We were celebrating my Great Nephews 2nd Birthday!  We were hosted to a feast of a meal!  OMG.  To say the food was 'good' would be insulting.  Chicken.  Jambalaya with huge portions of crab, shrimp, crawfish, and spicy meatballs/sausages.  I think the only carbs I ate was the birthday cake.  And the sugar from drinking a couple of sodas.  No alcohol for me as I have been sober for 14 years, a decision made for me due to my health and medications.  Overall, a great time.

Today, my family is heading to Wisconsin Dells, the Waterpark Capital of the World.  What a beautiful day today will be.  Sunny with temperatures at 90 degrees.  Hot and humid, with an UV Index of 9 
(Very High).  Going to need plenty of water and sunscreen!  I hope my wife and kids have a great time!

But I'm not going.  Why?  It's too hot for me to handle.  I might be good for maybe an hour, maybe 90 minutes.  If I went into the water, I would need to wear a long-sleeve compression shirt and compression shorts with my swimming trunks on.  Why do all this?  I would be ice cold from the water.  Shivering cold.  Eventually, the cold would catch up to me.  Or the heat/direct sunshine would.  The sun and heat wears me down and fatigue kicks in.  I need shade and a lounge chair to sleep.  Place a towel over my legs.  I'm blazing hot from the neck up and ice cold from the neck down. 

Safe to say, I'm a waste of money to be there for only 60-90 minutes top.  I know my body.  It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when things kick in.  I've pushed myself in the past and paid dearly for it.  The fatigue could last two days.  Joints hurt.  Chances are good, I wouldn't be able to drive due to a lack of focus.  It's not worth the pain/the after effects.  

They just left and I'm heartbroken as I can't spend the day with my family.  Deep down inside, I know I've made the right decision.  If I went, I would take away from the fun they will be having.  That would be selfish on my part.  

So..........my "fun" will be chopping vegetables.  And fresh rhubarb!!  I will be making Rhubarb Buttermilk Bread this morning.  Half of it will probably be gone by late afternoon.  The only issue, I need to drive to Waterloo (10 minutes roundtrip) to get buttermilk.  Both Kwik Trip and Dollar General doesn't sell it.

You need to understand where I am coming from.  I make sacrifices like today.  I'll spend most of today inside, with the exception of getting my buttermilk.  My own personal jail.  10 years worth.  Nothing to do.  I should dust but I hate it.  Probably do some resistant training to forget about life for a while.  According to a 2020 February report, training is one of the most under rated forms to treat Depression.  

Next week, I will talk more concerning Disability and the effects from having no job.  Including the crap you read on social media.  You know, the freeloaders who are lazy and live off the Government.  That's me !!!!

Stay tuned.  Hope to see everyone next week for Part Two.               




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