Cheated and Deceived

 I feel cheated.  Big surprise.  But the last 10 hours, I slept horrible, have a headache with joint pain and my coffee pot as coffee grounds all over the place.  I found that part of the filter folded down allowing coffee grounds to float around, dripping into the coffee pot.  On the bright side, I clean my coffee maker once a month.  Usually on the 1st of every month.  So, I'm cleaning a few days earlier than expected.

Not all was lost.  I'm grateful that I felt great this weekend.  Saturday, we had both a graduation party that was close by and my great-niece's birthday that was not so close by.  West Allis/Milwaukee to be exact.  A total of 2-1/2 hours of driving.  Yesterday, we had another graduation party to attend.  Great time for all three parties.  But I could feel something was not quite right last night.  Around 6pm, give or take.  I could feel a bit of nausea and brain fog kicking in.  Whether this had something to do with my poor nights sleep is unknown.  Oh well.  I could feel this way if I did nothing this weekend.  

The last paragraph serves as a great example of how plans can quickly go awry when your body turns on you.  How fast you can feel perfect and the next hour (or less), you feel tired, sore and have a headache.  And with it being Summer, I get the burning, red hot sensation from the neck up and ice cold from the neck down.  What a sight that is.  My face is flushed, red ears, warm head, yet wrapped in a blanket as I'm cold.  I have yet to come across a Doctor/Specialist that can explain why this happens.  

 I feel cheated.  My body screwed me over in life.  Deceived me.  And what has happened to me has had a huge impact on my wife.  She works six days a week.  Last year as a Physical Therapist Assistant, she worked for four different companies.  One company has a handful of locations spreading throughout Madison and Janesville.  No retirement plans.  In mid-2012 to Feb. of 2014, we cashed in all of our 401K's and money market accounts as I was in a battle with disability.  I wasn't bringing in any money.  What could we do?  She works her butt off.  It's heartbreaking to watch her going through this day after day.  I try to remain strong for our family's sake.  Whoever said that women are stronger/tougher than men is correct.  My wife is living proof.

But you know what, writing/publishing my book, writing this blog and/or anything else that comes from my book, I feel great inside.  After years of feeling that my life outside from being a husband and a father, I haven't accomplished anything in life.  Nothing to show for it.  Now, I do.  Finally I have a sense of accomplishment outside of my family.  My book, my blog.  My publishing company is currently creating my website.  It's cool looking.  I'm not sure what will be added beyond what is currently listed.  Time will tell.  Podcast?  I have an idea for one.  Right now, that idea is locked a way.  Who knows.

I have APS and Lupus Fighter merchandise available with proceeds going to the APS Foundation of America.  You can find them here at: https://www.cafepress.com/apsfoundation/17161390

Tune in Thursday for my Music Throwback Thursday.  See you as it is time for me to lay down.